just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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