i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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