OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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