It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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