we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
