Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
