he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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