There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
