Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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