You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
