You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
