I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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