thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
