Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize