I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
