worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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