No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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