I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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