I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
