He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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