): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
