YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
