update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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