Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
