No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
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KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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