I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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