Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize