This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
