Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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