She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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