he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
