3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
