dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
