She just used a chaser for red wine.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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