I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
