first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
