Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
