Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
ttyl tear gas
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
