I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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