i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
