I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize