Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
