did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
