Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
