So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
