You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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