Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
