I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
