Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
