think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
