I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
