I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
there is glitter all over my balls
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