i already hear my dad disowning me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
