She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
