That's when you crack a 10am beer
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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