Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
