The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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