I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
