if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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