No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
