Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
