If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
