I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
