Do vagina's smell?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
