I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
handjob tips. give me some.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
