i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
