i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize