i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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