hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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