He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
...so i touched it.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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