hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
