what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
