First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
