how can u be prego again
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize